Stir a Steer

I can actually stir the scene quite a bit....perhaps making fun of myself and my witty humor (with rumors) would make them seriously taking me closer to their heart.....or for their amusement and .... I can not construct my logic at this moment....but I never lose hope, always standing on the bright-side of life.

   Some tingling sensation on my chest blades, shoulder, and especially my nape..a heaviness which almost make me hallucinate and easily become hot-headed, an anger that I invented and I knew would be bursting....a sudden attack of blurriness....stealing my peaceful attention....God, I can not let them rob me of productivity. I wanna paint more....in spite of these failures....failure was such a strong word. 
   The people around me who was suppose to be supportive and sending positive energies are the same person that knock me down...sculpting the wound even more....I really must....

   And will they be proud of me???
   The same old scamp...and I pray....and the hurt ain't subsiding, that easily....it was the very nature of my self was being belittle. My reality was on this spot....I knew nothing but to paint....or at least that's what I am capable of....I'm drowned....sorrow....and then I can still make people happy.....I can not give up, one day they will look....and put my pieces in their hearts....on their wall.... 

   Was it right to bury all these dreams and ambitions. A big dream which I've chunked and trying to be happy where I am at the moment. Stay please stay....