After that recent lost even though I might not be joining contest for a very long time (or not at all) since my family wont be able to support me anyway....I would still be painting with rigor. Intensified but only for my own self gratification.
Severe stabbing pain on my mid rib recently....yet, I still smoke.
Back to self-searching once again....it could be this....
and it seems 4S is back on its feet again..a Singacup tournament once again. If i remember it right, Singacup was my first tournament with 4S....could be symbolical once again. Nah, life continues as it wishes...and there are controllers.